


If You Want

by wintersunofdoom



Series: If You Want [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, M/M, Witchers Have Feelings (The Witcher)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23525089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersunofdoom/pseuds/wintersunofdoom
Summary: This is the first part. Jaskier gets drunk and confesses feelings that were hidden for a long time. Geralt seems to take it pretty well.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: If You Want [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692880
Comments: 8
Kudos: 230





	If You Want

It was almost eleven when Jaskier walked out of the tavern.

The celebrations inside were fun at beginning of the evening, but he got bored pretty quickly. Plus, there was no sign of his witcher anywhere for the last twenty minutes and he was beginning to worry.

Geralt usually hated crowded places. People were either nagging him, either staring at him and whispering. But he usually sticked around when Jaskier was there. Whether it was drinking together or just sitting in the corner and watching the bard play. Jaskier secretly admitted that he liked Geralt watching him. It made him do his best. He really enjoyed the witcher's company and he was pretty sure it was mutual. 

But tonight was different. Geralt seemed distant from the very moment they arrived to the small town. 

Mind you, he was always distant compared to other living beings, but there was something odd about it. 

Jaskier walked out of the town's gates and towards the river. It was a clear night, the moon shining bright in the sky. 

He found Geralt sitting on the grass by the river, cleaning his sword. His long white hair shined beautifully in the moonlight and the features of his face looked somehow softer, yet still rather intimidating and handsome. Jaskier tried to push that thought into the back of his mind.

Knowing from past experiences that sneaking up on Geralt from behind is never a good idea, Jaskier called at him when he was several feet away.

"Hey".

Geralt turned his head to look at him and nodded. "Party over so soon?" He grunted, low and hoarse.

"Are you kidding" Jaskier answered with a smile, stepping closer and sitting down beside Geralt. "When I left, I think they were starting an orgy there. People here a bit, um, wild".

"Hmm".

They sat in silence for a few seconds. Jaskier was just about to ask Geralt why is he sitting here by himself, when Geralt started speaking. 

"You didn't want to join them?"

Jaskier blinked.

"Who?"

"Those at the bar".

Jaskier let out a loud and awkward laugh, leaning back on his palms. 

"No! Ha-" he breathed out. "I mean, I know I've built myself quite the reputation of a wild spirit-"

Geralt rolled his eyes at that.

"-But I'm not really interested right now in that kind of fun. Besides, I was getting a little worried about your disappearance".

Geralt didn't say a word for ten seconds, so he continued. 

"Why are you here, anyway? You could've got back to our inn"

Silence.

Jaskier sighed in exasperation. 

"Okay Wolfie, care to tell me what's going on? You've been like this ever since we arrived". 

Geralt raised his eyebrows in amusement. "What did you just call me?"

"Dear Gods! He has a voice!"

Geralt rolled his eyes again. 

Jaskier quickly shifted so he was kneeling in front of the witcher, their faces inches apart.

"Can you please stop doing that?" He drew his hands to both sides, dramatically. "Rolling your eyes? I'm getting sick of this monologue".

"Then maybe you should stop talking".

Jaskier's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to loudly protest at the insult he was just given. However, he caught the ghost of a smile on Geralt's face. Something stirred inside of him and he was at a loss of words.

He didn't notice the fact that he was still leaning very close to Geralt. Until the moment that Geralt gently placed a huge palm in the center of his chest, lightly pushing away.

"S-sorry" Jaskier mumbled, barely audible, feeling the blush creeping onto his neck. Damn, why did he have to drink so much?

He was afraid of meeting the witcher's eyes, scared of finding him staring at him oddly. It wasn't a secret that the bard had a minimal sense of personal space, but his reaction now made the whole situation ten times weirder.

He shuddered at the sudden weight of heavy fabric on his shoulders. Geralt has taken off his coat and wrapped it around the bard.

"Thanks" he mumbled "But I wasn't-".

"You're shaking" Geralt commented, monotone as usual "And it is cold. You probably can't feel it because of the alcohol".

Jaskier felt a warm wave of gratitude washing all over him. He already almost got used to the fact that he and Geralt had become friends. That Geralt was, well, protective of him. But still, every gesture like this, made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

He smiled fondly at his friend. 

Geralt seathed his sword. Then he focused his stare directly at the bard, lips pressed and head tilt to the side.

"I appreciate your concern" he finally said, calmly. Jaskier blinked. "And I assure you, that I am well. I just... couldn't stand to be there a second longer".

"Too crowded, huh?"

"I guess. And... Lonely".

Jaskier shifted to sit beside the witcher, their feet bumping. He felt his heart beat faster with every passing minute. 

"Why- why were you feeling lonely?"

Geralt hummed, deep in thought. Jaskier gazed at him, craving for every word. It wasn't like Geralt to talk about his feelings, so this was something really exciting for the bard. He loved hearing Geralt talk and wanted, with every fiber of his body, to make him feel like he's got somebody to lean on.

Not that he needed somebody. He was fucking Geralt of Rivia. But everyone, even Geralt, need a shoulder to cry on once in a while.

He wondered if Geralt ever cried in front of someone. If he ever cried at all.

"I guess-" Geralt's deep voice shook him out of his pondering. "I get easily annoyed by their stares. It makes me feel more like a- monster".

Jaskier started to protest but Geralt cut him off.

"It doesn't matter. That's what they all think. I guess it makes it true", he smiled sadly, "I can never see myself like that, like a normal person. Like them".

"That's right, because you aren't normal. You aren't them. You're fucking Geralt of Rivia, you're better than them!" Jaskier exclaimed, concern obvious in his voice.

"Thanks" Geralt mumbled, halfheartedly. He laid back onto the grass, gazing at the starry sky. "But sometimes I wish I wasn't" he said quietly. 

Jaskier crossed his legs and turned to look down at his friend.

"I don't know what the hell you're complaining about, I think you're fucking amazing" Jaskier remarked smugly. 

Geralt huffed, half amused. 

Jaskier continued. "Really, Geralt. Don't want to boost you ego any more, but you're just fantastic. You're a good person. A decent friend-"

Geralt kicked at his shin lightly and Jaskier laughed.

"Seriously, you're amazing. And I'll keep reminding you of that everyday".

"That's not necessary" Geralt murmured, but fondly.

Jaskier rolled his eyes. "You just want attention", he determined. "Which you're already getting a lot from me, so I can't possibly see why you'd be asking for more".

"Maybe I enjoy it" Gerald hummed, lips curling upwards.

Jaskier let out a nervous laugh. What is going on here?

Geralt continued, hint of a smile disappearing from his face. "But even you, as much as I... appreciate you, you probably won't stay around for much longer". He blinked and intertwined his fingers above his stomach. "I don't see a reason for you staying. I'm not very kind to you. We're facing death almost every day. Don't you just want to go back to you normal life?"

Jaskier breathed out of his nose, exasperated. 

"First of all" he raised a finger "Shut up. Secondly," he dropped his hand to the grass "When did you exactly started developing insecurities?"

Geralt frowned. "It's not-"

"Yes it is!" Jaskier cut him off, loudly. "And it's okay, by the way. Everyone has them", he continued, heated and fast "But you should always remember who you are. And how much I adore you. And even though you suck sometimes at the job, you're still a great friend. And I would follow you to the end of the earth. Fuck, I think I already did. So, yeah. I admire you. I don't know how else can I make you believe that. Fuck, I mean, if you were gay-"

He trailed off, suddenly realizing the words that came out of his mouth. Damn the alcohol.

If he wasn't blushing already, he was definitely blushing now.

He cautiously looked down at Geralt, hoping he stopped listening at some point. This sometimes happened when Jaskier rambled on. To his silent horror, Geralt was watching him wide eyed (for him).

"What?" He said, voice still and hoarse. Always good with words.

Jaskier cleared his throat, trying to find a way out of this. "I said, if I were gay-"

"No, no" Geralt interrupted him calmly, sounding amused at the situation. "That's not what you said. You said if I was gay then-" he paused and tilted his head to the side. "Then, what?"

Jaskier stood up, trying to mask his embarrassment with anger. "I'm drunk! Fuck off! I stuttered, you got the whole thing in the wrong way. Can you just let it go?". Jaskier felt a painful stab in his chest.

"No". Geralt said, slowly standing up. "And I'm usually not so good at reading people's feelings, but I think I got it right".

Jaskier gaped at him. "What feelings?" he was trying really heard to fix this. He was not going to ruin their friendship like this. Was Geralt making fun of him?

"Fuck," Jaskier sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Could you just let it go? My head is spinning, I was speaking nonsense. Forget it".

Geralt looked at him, somehow disappointed. Jaskier felt that pain in his chest again. 

"Not about the sticking with you part!" He blurted out quickly. "Mainly, the- the last one".

Geralt raised an eyebrow at him and hummed. "Alright. Let's head back to the inn".

They walked all the way back in complete silence. It was a beautiful night. If his heart wasn't threatening to explode out of his chest because of everything that happened just minute earlier, Jaskier would've probably enjoyed it. He occasionally glanced to the side, sneaking a look at Geralt. He was walking with his head slightly tilted down, gold eyes warm and deep in thought. The moonlight made him look magical. "Fuck," he thought to himself "he's beautiful".

Just then, Geralt turned his head lightly and caught Jaskier staring at him. Jaskier cast his eyes to the ground immediately, stomach turning. By this stage, he wouldn't be surprised if Geralt just took off without him, first thing in the morning.

They've finally reached their inn. Walking across the hall, Jaskier started to swing a bit, dizzy from the drinks he had, and Geralt took him by the arm. They stopped in front of Jaskier's door.

"Thanks" Jaskier mumbled, feeling like he would gladly be buried in this moment. "Good night".

"Good night, Jaskier" Geralt almost whispered, voice uncharacteristically soft. This caused Jaskier to look up at him. Geralt was staring at him, unfazed. "And for your question, I am".

Jaskier swallowed, having trouble to believe what he was hearing right now. "You're what?"

Geralt tilted his head to the side, unamused. "You know exactly what".

Jaskier breathed out, realizing he was holding his breath for a while now. "I-i don't get it, you-".

"Depends for who" Geralt cut him. He took a step closer to his bard. "For you, yes". Jaskier eyes widened, anticipating what was gonna come next.

But Geralt took a step back and turned around, heading for his own room. "But we'll talk about all this in the morning, when you're sober" he threw across his shoulder. "Good night".

Jaskier let out an exasperated sigh. His head felt dizzy at what was happening. He was excited. Also disappointed. "That is so not fair!" He called after the witcher.

Geralt stopped on his heels and smoothly turned around to face the bard, standing across the hall. Geralt threw him a dirty look, the kind that made Jaskier feel hard in his trousers. 

"Do you know-" Geralt started quietly "What it took me right now to resist shoving you against the fucking wall?" He continued smirking, satisfied with the bard's reaction. "And touch you all over?" 

Jaskier gasped quietly. "Then do it". He let out, breath shaking.

Geralt gaze was piercing him, as he walked back across the hall, like a hungry predator. He stopped right in front of Jaskier, still staring. Jaskier felt himself shiver as Geralt slowly leaned down at him. He was just about to jump at him, when Geralt picked him off the floor and shoved his bedroom door open. Jaskier yelped in surprise. 

Geralt carried him to the one-sized bed, smirking. He gently put the bard down on the matress and started taking off his boots.

Jaskier leaned up on his elbows, aroused and confused.

Finishing taking off his boots, Geralt gently squeezed the bard's leg. He looked up at him with an amused smile. He looks so beautiful, Jaskier thought.

Geralt stood up on his feet and went to the door. "Morning. Sober. Good night".

Jaskier plopped down on the mattress "I hate you".

"Let's see in the morning". Geralt eyed him one last time before leaving. "I'm glad we had this conversation today. Next time, when you confess something like this, try to do it a little less drunk. I'm trying really hard now to resist what I want to do with you". God, Jaskier thought. "You don't have to. Show me what you want to do". 

"Maybe tomorrow. If you want. Sleep well". Geralt closed the door behind him.

Jaskier sighed and slowly dozed off with a smile on his face.


End file.
